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Children, Guns, Stick-Figures.

Written By Timothy McGuire 

One of my greatest fears in this life is a five-year-old pointing a gun at me.  This is almost exactly parallel to my desperate fear of being “held up” by a midget or a dwarf of some kind.  This is my particular phobia, and it is not meant to indicate any particular common, that is, shared foible or tendency in either category of these children of God, which both are.  Certainly a child with a handgun is a terrible thought to anyone.  The only people that may not agree with me are running blood diamonds in Africa or commanding countries that rhyme with “I ran,” as in, “I ran into some trouble at school when I drew a stick-figure,” as in, the seven-year-old boy named, who found his way into the state news for this reason and into our poetic little hearts. (the MSNBC article)     Like many young tadpoles at this age, his thoughts seem to revolve around what many little boys play, that is, adults, especially some type of exemplar or protagonist.  Now, in this tumultuous era, we find that many of our current heroes are in the desert really far away.  We know from the news that they are using what appear to be some modern versions of flintlock, which of course the average citizen in America had in his home while this country was founded. 

     So, if our heroes are in Iraq, like Obama and Giuliani would have us believe, then I say we should examine why they are heroes, and when we have some notion of what it is that they are doing to be heroic, then let us essay to do the same in our own little way.  I would suggest protecting all the weak people that we can in our sphere of existence.

This is my speculation on what the boy might have actually drawn, although his may have varied slightly.  Sources say that there was only one weapon at the scene.

     I assume that the boy draws things that he likes, or, to rephrase, images that have some value to his person and his little colleagues.  Drawing is a creative act, a giving back to the world for all that it has given us, an inspiration to form out of ink and crisp white papyrus, beauty and genuine, interpersonal communication.  This is, perhaps, a rather dramatic description of a boy scribbling out a stick-figure with a pop-gun, yet it may be a glimmer of a future artist prodigy.  He will first have to overcome the fantastic shock of his suspension from class.

     It is true, this maliciously armed stick-man has put our young friend on the wrong side of the school policy against guns.  A stick-figure with what I can only dare to call a stick-figure’s stick-gun is contrary to the American schoolboy’s recommended artistic taste.  The sacred learning space of New Jersey was grossly and violently polluted, dishonored, and generally shaken up.  It seems that the youth shall undergo a sort of government-funded therapy to rid him of these impetuous inclinations, for how else can he be healed of such aberrant behavior patterns.

     At any rate, we have all learned a valuable lesson and are reassured that the schools of New Jersey are doing their darnedest to keep our beloved offspring safe from “bad stuff”.  I only wish I had received the benefits of this new education in my younger and more formidable years where I, with the help of some tragic playmates, drew vast scenes depicting natural disaster mixed with much stick-figure, cultural strife.  I thought, in my ignorance that the only way that the stick-men could resolve their differences, namely the differences in their choice of hat shading, was through violence, and often King Kong himself would offer his services to one side or the other, depending on which army/team had paid their dues to P.E.T.A.  Alas, my life has this one blight in an otherwise nonviolent record.  I accept full responsibility for these and possibly other drawings of a similar vein, I apologize to my grammar school cronies, who, no doubt are in some sort of institution for violence reform, and most of all the “education providers,” who were possibly in danger without any knowledge heretofore.  I will now carry out a self-imposed community service yet to be determined.


About Jesse O. Kurtz

I am committed to fulfilling the promise of Atlantic City. The town would benefit from greater political participation by average citizens. Hopefully, some of the posts herein will encourage you to get more involved in your community. This blog will also feature other topics and subjects beyond Atlantic City. I hope that you will come to love Atlantic City as much, or more than I do.


2 thoughts on “Children, Guns, Stick-Figures.

  1. You bring up some nice points, satirically speaking, but the laws in place are now necessary in the public school system’s present condition, which disconnects morality from any foundation and only caters to a child’s socio-economical upbringing, stability, and indoctrination. What is wrong when it is conceivable to provide birth-control to prebuscent youngsters, but a kid can’t draw a picture? While it was possibly going overboard to suspend the lad, the teachers probably had no idea at all about this child’s propensity for violence or even this child’s personal development outside of the “can he form subject-verb agreement” context. These policies regarding school suspensions are, of course, only treating symptoms, but what else is there to do if the seeds of society’s downfall are never addressed. Afterall, most people in America now equate “life” with “standard of living.” “There’s nothing wrong with ‘life’ in America.” And let’s not forget, Mr. McGuire, that children have shot people with real guns in schools.

    Posted by David Murphy | October 23, 2007, 12:31 pm
  2. So what you are saying is that we must now legislate a certaint type of hypersensitive morality to provide the students with a board approved set of politesse as the need arises?

    That is, if a school sees other schools tragically affected by violence, all nouns having to do with violence, every person place thing or idea, should be exorcized.

    If the teachers have no clue as to the childs propensities, I say they are cheap, contemptible, grotty, inferior, miserable, pathetic, poor, rotten, second-rate, shabby, sub-par, third-rate, useless, and also worthless “education providers.’ We have all we need in schools to identify problems in troubled youths. Metal detectors, locker searches, and police presence are like treating AIDS with cough syrup.

    Children need moms and dad who are willing to be a part of their lives. Children are supposed to be protected from the adult world, not the childrens world. If one is not willing to give a child a good home with good food, a religion that makes sense, and an attitude of responsibility, one should get the tubes tied or join the eunics.

    Posted by Joe | October 23, 2007, 1:12 pm

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